Thought-Controlled PCs are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the glitches they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
(then call them ‘racist’ for having pride and throw them away)
Touchpad technology has become a way of life for many who use laptops and other devices with this capability, but a new study led by a University of California researcher may replace the touchpad with “thoughtpad” technology.
I don’t know if a replacement would be a good idea. Maybe as an additional option. But that could be quite awkward, too. Imagine if you were using the TouchPad and you accidently thought of where you wanted your cursor to go and it travelled a bit too far too fast and knocked over your coffee. Then, when you thought, "Stop Doing That!" your cursor stopped taking instructions from your TouchPad entirely. The good side? Robin would have a new phrase: "Cursed Cursors, Batman!"
The study was led by Itzhak Fried, M.D., Ph.D., a professor of neurosurgery at the University of California, Los Angeles, and was funded by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). This research found that humans can control complex visual images with their mind on a computer screen.
This type of research was based on the development of brain-computer interfaces (BCIs), which allow humans to manipulate computers with their thoughts. In this particular study, the participants were 12 people with epilepsy because they already had fine wires implanted in their brains. These wires are used to record seizure activity, but for the sake of this study, Itzhak and his team inserted the wires into the medial temporal lobe, which is a region of the brain responsible for memory and recognition of complex images.
The Good: THAT’S FREAKIN’ AWESOME!
The Bad: Great. Roll Out the Red Carpet for the Thought Police.
The Ugly: I’d Sell My Soul to the Thought Police for a Test Drive! …
… But I won’t get wires planted in my brain. That would be as bad as getting an OBEY! 84™ chip planted in my arm, or the big O’s SwineJuice 2009™ pumped into my veins… No Thanks. I’ll wait until they publicaly release the PCReadsYourMindFromAfarSoYouCanControlYourPCWithYourMindFromAfarPad. Wow! I hope that’s soon! And what a name. I should get paid for that. (*whips out pack of Mentos™ with a smirk and a wink*)
On another note, imagine if we all used this technology to train our brains to control our thoughts to a very precice degree. The entire human species would be a massive, chaotic pile of spoon benders within a matter of months. Long live Indecision!
This post is meant to be humorous, not critical. If you don’t get it, it’s likely that the Thought Police have already gotten you.
Thanks to DailyTech for the killer article. Click below for the full story, along with some great, cool and even some flat-out hilarious comments!